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She finds sexual questions asked of LGBTQ people to be extremely problematic.“It's depersonalizing people; it's turning them into a Facebook post.“Being a lesbian doesn’t mean that I hate men,” says Sarah Dollard, a first-year graduate student at Emerson College.Sarah has also heard the question, “Why do you want to be a guy?If you make a genuine mistake with a transgender person’s name or pronouns, you should apologize and let them know that you didn’t mean to hurt them.
Every time someone begins a sentence with, “I’m sorry if this offends you, but…” an LGBTQ person groans.
If someone wants to share the details of their transition with you, they will.
It’s also extremely disrespectful to use the incorrect pronouns for a transgender person on purpose.
Trish Bendix, editor-in-chief of , an online publication geared toward queer women, calls this phrase “an attempt to understand how we can be so sure that we are who we are.” Bendix says, “People tend to be most curious about the clues we had as to what makes us queer or trans, likely trying to reconcile if it’s something they’ve ever been close to dealing with themselves.” The accusation that it’s just a phase can still be hurtful to hear as an LGBTQ person, especially if you’ve known your identity for quite some time.
You may have just gathered the courage to tell a friend something important about yourself, and hearing that “it’s just a phase” basically shuts that trust down.
This follows along with any questions about sex, which are inappropriate to ask anyone who hasn’t explicitly given you their permission.